It seems like i'm life has been turned upside down.

Or has it always been this way?

I can't lead a normal life. At least in my eyes, i can't.

Ppl still think i'm normal..

But look deeper within.

There's a dark side of me.

A side that hardly anybody comes near to.

Very very deep within.

Seems like it's been under lock and key forever.

Where has the right person in me gone to?

Since when did i start hiding myself from ppl?

I don't know.

Nobody knows.

It's something that i don't want to think about and will not even remember.

What happened to me?

Where am i?

Who am i?

What the F am i doing to myself?

Someone help me.....

I'm sinking deeper into it.

I can't find myself...

Since when have i taught my self to hide from everything and pretend everything is fine?

I can't laugh without really feeling happy.

I can't cry when i'm sad cos i do not how what sadness means to me anymore.

I can get angry cos i'm always angry with myself.

1st blog. Never the 1st day i'm missing him...

I miss him.
He's been away for mths and it feels like yrs.
I've known him for 8yrs now. 2 World Cups ago. I miss him all the more that World Cup is coming again.
After knowing a person for 8yrs, how will one person move on now?
Me.
How do i forget?
Should i treat everything like it had never happened before?
Should i think of it as a dream or wake up from a nightmare?
What happened?
I wanna know.
Someone tell me please....

I try to block him outta my mind but apparently it doesn't help.
He's still in there. Living and breathing me.
Everyday, every minute, every second of my concious moment....